BMX XXX
A BMX game built from the weatherbeaten Dave Mirra engine, XXX offers raunchiness and cursing, strippers and whores. Any claim to its maturity, however, even considering its content, may be easily dismissed. XXX’s sophomoric humor (we’ve played funnier games of chess, and watched more comedic documentaries on leprosy) relies on weak sexual innuendo, excretory functions, and, of course, the seven words you absolutely can’t say on television. Here’s some of the stuff you will not laugh at: dogs fornicating, bird poop, aliens anally impaled on a probe, a fireman who can’t get it up (his hose, that is), a Winona Ryder-styled shoplifter, a religious zealot named Horndaug, and the space station deliciously named Launch Pad 69. There’s nudity, too, but even XXX’s creators won’t deny this is anything but a gimmick.
Past its pathetic attempt to stand out, XXX emerges as a competent, if somewhat slapdash, extreme-sports title. All Dave Mirra’s bumps and rough edges have made their way into XXX, especially in terms of the Grinds. Players can ride rails for an eternity thanks to an incredibly forgiving balance system; even tilted 30 degrees or so, a character will be able to slide and glide on his merry way. Botched tricks can usually be salvaged by pressing the Grind button, which allows even the most disoriented rider on the most askew bike to balance on a ledge and gain points.
Acclaim’s SIK trick system allows for great creativity. Most maneuvers can be modified by pressing the B button and a direction on the D-pad or left analog stick. This freedom comes at a price; players will quickly note the game’s camera is not so ingenious. It hangs on obstacles with enough frequency to be obtrusive, and spins wildly until the rider moves away from the offending piece of terrain.
Mission-based challenges allow players to unlock movies of strippers prancing in the buff, and it’s sad to note the videos are more competently produced than the game itself. In-game goals are often poorly explained; Many, many people know “fruitbooter” is a slur for inline skaters, but XXX expects, without exception, that everyone is hip to the lingo. As the game progresses to a mall, Las Vegas, a dam, and a launch pad, the missions digress to a “same-crap, different stage,” kind of mishmash. Expect lots of point- and item-collection tasks, escort missions, and property destruction challenges, all done to the melodious tune of rockin’ rock music and poorly skilled voice actors abusing the English language.
Copyright © 2004 Ziff Davis Media Inc. All Rights Reserved. Originally appearing in Xbox Nation.
