reason, The

Belknap, Bryan


Two mall-rat girls banter about their competing views of Christmas when they bump into each other post-holiday at a department store. Excerpted from Group Publishing’s new book of savvy, funny dramas, Ultimate Skits.

Every year we say we’re going to focus ourselves on the true meaning of Christmas, but every year that turns out to be just an earnest but unfulfilled vow. But this holiday skit will get your kids talking… and thinking.

the cast

Brianna: Teenage girl dressed in winter clothes

Amy: Teenage girl dressed in winter clothes

Announcer: Person who gives in-store announcements with a microphone from offstage

Employee (optional): Store employee wearing an apron and a name tag

the setting

A department store. To create this scene, put a clearance shelf (or table) at center stage with Christmas decorations and figurines on it. Put a sale sign on the shelf. (Optional: You also could put a revolving light on the table or shelf. Place a shopping cart filled with items at stage right, and place an artificial tree stage left.)

props and costumes

A microphone, a shelf (or table), Christmas decorations (including one Santa figurine and one baby Jesus figurine), two shopping bags, a sale sign, winter clothes (optional: revolving light, an artificial Christmas tree, shopping cart with items in it, apron, name tag).

the setup

Brianna holds a shopping bag as she studies some of the Christmas decorations on display. Amy is offstage with a shopping bag. Announcer is offstage with a microphone throughout the drama.

(Option: The Employee is onstage dismantling the artificial Christmas tree throughout the skit. If you don’t have a Christmas tree, the Employee can rearrange the various Christmas decorations.)

The scene begins as the first announcement is made.

the script

Announcer: Remember, shoppers, only 364 more days until Christmas!

(Amy walks onstage and taps Brianna on the shoulder.)

Amy: Merry Christmas!

(Brianna, surprised, turns and smiles when she sees Amy)

Brianna: Amy! Merry Christmas to you, too!

(The pair quickly hug and separate.)

Amy: Would you believe I saw them putting up Valentine’s decorations already?

Brianna: Retail never looks back. How was your Christmas?

Amy: Really nice. I loved not having to deal with Grandma’s abominable fruitcake or Grandpa’s never-ending stories without a point.

Announcer: Sorry, kids. Pikachu has left the building. Catch a photo if you can with him next Sunday between 3 and 5.

Brianna: (Growling with anger) I want Pokemon banished to the darkest corner of the island of annoying toys! My brother ran around all day screaming, “Gotta catch ’em all.” I honestly wish he’d get into Barney again!

Amy: At least he talks to you. My dad and brothers have been grunting and yelling at football games all week.

Brianna: What’d you get?

Amy: Luggage.

Brianna: Aaahhh! I hate that! I got a set for my birthday.

Amy: It gets worse. They gave me the suitcase for Christmas and I get the hanging bag for my birthday.

Brianna: It’s a simple concept. A Christmas present isn’t something you need-it should be something special.

Amy: Preach it, girl! Presents should be foolish, something you’d never get yourself, or could never afford.

Announcer: The white zone is for exchanges only. The red zone is for shopping.

Amy: You here to exchange stuff?

Brianna: No, Mom wants me to pick up some decorations for next year while they’re cheap.

Amy: What are you getting?

(Brianna picks up two decorations. One is Santa, and the other is baby Jesus.)

Brianna: Help me decide between these two.

Amy: Santa and baby Jesus?

Brianna: You’ve got to be careful. They definitely make different statements.

Amy: Which are…

Brianna: You know. Santa’s jolly, spreads Christmas cheer, and kids love him.

Amy: And Jesus is mean, spreads sorrow, and children flee him in terror?

Brianna: That’s not what I mean! I’m just saying that Jesus can be so… offensive. Christmas is about peace on earth, not ticking people off.

Amy: Come on, Brianna. The only offensive babies out there are the ones with overflowing diapers. Besides, the whole Christmas thing is supposed to celebrate his birthday.

Brianna: Did you know Christmas is Sam Robinson’s birthday, too? He’s always complaining about how he gets cheated out of presents that way.

Announcer: A white Neon, license plate “PLAYA,” your lights are on. Also, your fuzzy dice and cowhide seat covers are extremely tacky.

Amy: (Checks watch.) I’ve got to run. I’m supposed to help take the Christmas lights down.

Brianna: It’s the day after Christmas! You can leave them up until after New Year’s.

Amy; Dad’s so cheap. He can’t stand paying for extra electricity. (Pointing at the decorations) Still need help?

(Brianna turns her attention back to the sale rack.)

Brianna: I think I’ll go with Santa.

Amy: Are you sure? I mean, baby Jesus is so cute. I’d rather have him than a creepy, fat guy.

Brianna: There’s always plenty of Jesuses left lying around. I can get him any time. Besides, if I wait until next week, he’ll probably be 75 percent off. Then I’ll have the best of both worlds-Santa and Jesus!

Amy: Whatever you say. Have a happy New Year! Brianna: You too. I’ll see you at Jill’s party, okay?

Amy: See ya then! (Amy exits.)

(Brianna picks up both the Santa and the Jesus. She studies them and finally puts down Jesus. Brianna exits, leaving Jesus behind.)

Bryan Belknap is media editor for group Magazine and creator of our Web site, where you’ll find hundreds of Bryan’s biblical discussion starters based on popular movies, music, and videos. Go

to for a free tour of the site. He’s also the author of the new book Ultimate Skits, from which this skit is excerpted. ((c) 2002, Bryan Belknap, Group Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 481, Loveland, CO 80539-0481)

Copyright Group Publishing, Inc. Nov/Dec 2002

Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved

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