Girls' Life

wanna hang onto that hottie? Relax your dating death-grip

The cling factor: wanna hang onto that hottie? Relax your dating death-grip

Kat Rosenfield


That cutie, the one you had an all-out crush on? He’s no crush now. He’s your boyfriend! But for a lot of girls who make the jump from flirty fun to a real relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in the rush. If you’ve been doing your best impression of a Velcro strip ever since you snagged your guy, watch out. That kind of clinginess can crash your relationship before it gets off the ground. Do you need to give your BF a little breathing room? See if you fit any of these clinger profiles….


YOU MIGHT BE ONE IF His friends call you “The Appendage.” If you’re constantly wrapped around your boyfriend’s neck when he’s trying to hang with his crew, you’re probably making him–and them–really uncomfortable. They’ll never get to know you unless you can un-stick yourself from your BF.

THE SOLUTION Heart-smart girls keep PDA to a minimum around a guy’s crew. Playing it low-key around his circle shows you’re laid-back and confident. And getting to know his buds proves you care about what’s important to him.


YOU MIGHT BE ONE IF He’s your only topic of convo. It’s great to tell your boyfriend how much you dig him … but if you lay it on too thick, you send the wrong message. A relationship is built on mutual respect, so slobbering all over him sets you up to be taken for granted. And you’re not doing him any favors–even the most solid guy ever can get a swollen ego from all that fawning.

THE SOLUTION Save the flattery for when you really mean it. If he’s the world’s greatest guy, he’ll care about how great you are together. Besides, you’ve already paid him the best compliment ever … by agreeing to be his girl.


YOU MIGHT BE ONE IF You send him an update in the a.m., after class, at lunch, then … Sure, your guy likes to hear about your day. But to keep things interesting, he sometimes needs to be, um, left alone. A little space is always a good thing, so relish time away from each other. After all, only the coolest GF totally gets how he can spend hours playing Halo with a bunch of guys who keep their farts in jars, right?

THE SOLUTION When you get the urge to text, call a friend instead. By taking “me” time, you’re doing something for your relationship: letting him miss you.


YOU MIGHT BE ONE IF Your mouth is moving, but no words come out. When a relationship is new, talking can take a back seat–there are so many other things you can do with your, um, kisser. But communication is key, and chances are your guy wants to be with you for more than just expert lip-locking skills.

THE SOLUTION Being a couple means having a connection, and that’s about more than making out. Talking to him about personal things is a great way to show affection, and it’ll make you closer.


YOU MIGHT BE ONE IF You have 20 voicemails from friends, asking if you’re still among the living. It’s normal to want to spend lots of time with your guy. But if you’re hanging with him at the expense of everything else, take a step back. Making him responsible for entertaining you 24/7 is unreasonable, and so is skipping out on the rest of your life. Oh, and neglecting your girls? Not cool.

THE SOLUTION Don’t rearrange your world to be with your guy. It’s tempting to make him your No. 1 priority, but having outside interests is what makes you, well, you. You owe it to you/self, and your boyfriend, to stay that way!

COPYRIGHT 2008 Girls Life Acquisition Corp.

COPYRIGHT 2008 Gale, Cengage Learning